How to Train Your Pony
by Cke1st
Summary: A small, cute, accident-prone visitor has appeared in the skies over Berk. How will she get home, will Berk still be standing after she leaves, and WHY is Hiccup so willing to overlook the calamities she's causing?
1. Chapter 1

**How to Train Your Pony** Chapter 1

A/N A small, cute, accident-prone visitor has appeared in the skies over Berk. How will she get home, will Berk still be standing after she leaves, and _why_ is Hiccup so willing to overlook the calamities she's causing?

**o**

Sometimes, it felt so good to get away from everyone and just _fly!_

Toothless probably felt that way all the time, but he wasn't capable of saying so. He never made any objection when they had to fly on official business, like delivering messages or helping Hiccup on his missions with the Dragon Training Academy. But there could be no question, his favorite thing of all was just to get saddled up and drill holes in the clouds for an hour or two. Hiccup couldn't think of anything he liked better, either. Well, maybe a kiss from Astrid, but not much else.

Sometimes he'd suggest moves or aerial tricks he'd like to try, and sometimes he'd just let the dragon do whatever he wanted. This morning was one of the latter. Toothless was in a crazy mood, and he was re-enacting the first time he'd ever flown with Astrid on his back. Except for dunking Hiccup in the ocean, he was recreating that wild flight in perfect detail. Hiccup just hung on for the ride. He'd be a little dizzy and disoriented by the time he was done, for sure. But most of it was fun, it wasn't anything he hadn't endured before, and _anything_ was better than getting stuck on the ground, putting up decorations for Bork Week, like the rest of the teens were doing. Sometimes it was handy to have a dragon that had to have his help or it couldn't fly.

They were plunging earthward in a flat spin. Hiccup held his breath and counted to five. When he got to five, the dragon spread his wings and their descent stopped instantly. Hiccup nodded; he knew every detail of that flight, right down to the timing, because that flight had changed his life, Astrid's life, and eventually the life of every Viking on Berk. Now they should slowly soar upwards until they were just below the cloud layer. That was the part where Astrid would have reached up and run her hand through a cloud for the first time.

Sure enough, up they went. The dragon had this flight memorized, too. But before they got within touching distance of the clouds, Toothless suddenly jerked to the side. A flash of lighting shot by them; the thunderclap came almost immediately. Dragon and rider both looked upward, surprised – there weren't any storm clouds in sight!

All he could see was one darker spot in the cloud layer that was visibly pulsating. Pulsating? _That_ was strange! The dragon noticed it at the same time, and growled. "Let's check that out, bud." Toothless had barely begun climbing when another lightning bolt flashed out of that pulsating cloud. This one went straight down and didn't pass near them, but enough was enough. "Toothless, I think we want to get _above_ that cloud." The dragon snorted his agreement. He flapped hard, and they rose up through the murk until they broke through the top and could see again.

What they could see... made no sense. Some kind of flying creature was bouncing up and down on the clouds!

It wasn't a dragon; Hiccup was sure of that much. It looked something like an ordinary Viking pony, except it had feathered wings like a bird. It was gray, with white markings on its flank and a bright yellow mane and tail. There was something unusual about its eyes, but Hiccup couldn't quite figure out what. As it jumped up and down on that one patch of cloud, it made odd springy noises, and every few seconds, another lighting bolt would flash downward, as though the pony was dislodging the lightning from the clouds by bouncing on them.

As Hiccup and Toothless circled closer, the pony finally noticed them. It looked up with a smile.

"Derp," it said.

**o**

The six teens and their dragons stood in a circle in the dragon training ring, staring at the gray-and-yellow pony. The pony smiled back at them; she didn't seem to mind being the center of attention.

"Okay, we'll start at the beginning," Hiccup said. "What did you say your name was?"

"Derpy," said the pony in a childlike voice. "Derpy Hooves." She hung her head sadly. "Well, that used to be my name. Some mean people want me to change it because they don't like it."

"Huh," said Hiccup. "I guess the real questions are, where are you from, how did you get here, and how can we help you get home?"

"Where am I from? Everybody knows that! Ponies all come from Equestria."

Hiccup glanced at Fishlegs, who looked thoughtful. "I've read about all the islands and villages around here, and I never heard of that one. Is it a long ways away?"

"I don't know; I've never been away from there," the pony said. "Isn't this part of Equestria?"

"No, this is Berk, and I think you're a _long_ way from home," Hiccup said. "We've never seen anybody like you before. Our ponies don't talk, or fly, or jump on thunderclouds."

Derpy started to answer, but Tuffnut cut her off. "Jump on thunderclouds? How does _that_ work?"

"That's easy! I'll show you," said the pony. She flew out of the ring and found a small cloud that was floating above the village. "This is what you do!" she called down, and began bouncing up and down on the cloud.

With her first bounce, a lightning bolt flashed down and hit one of the Bork Week banners, setting it ablaze. The second bounce caused lightning to strike a house; the family inside ran out screaming. With the third bounce, the lightning bolt connected with the mast of a ship in the harbor, blackening it and giving its crew a nasty shock. On the fourth bounce, the lightning backfired and blackened the pony, who stopped bouncing. "Derp," she said, surprised.

The twins looked at the destruction, then at the smoldering pony, then at each other. "_That_ was the coolest thing I've _ever_ seen!" Ruffnut grinned.

"We have _got_ to try that!" Tuff nodded. They jumped onto their dragon's necks. "Barf! Belch! We need to find a cloud!" They flapped heavily out of the ring.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "That'll keep _them_ occupied for a few hours," he shrugged. "Derpy! Can you come back down here, please, before you level the whole town?"

"Okay," she called, a bit sadly. She swooped back into the ring and skidded across the floor, finally crashing into a sleeping Meatlug. The Gronckle awoke and gave the pony an irritated look.

"That's quite some power you've got," Astrid commented. "You were starting to tell us how you got here?"

"I don't know," she said. "I think Twilight was trying something new she read in a book, and maybe she didn't get it quite right. I remember lots of swirly colors, and a big bang noise, and then I was here."

"How did twilight do that?" Snotlout asked. "It's not even close to sunset yet."

"Sunset Shimmer is close by?" The pony was looking wildly all around her, suddenly very afraid.

"I think we're having a problem communicating," Hiccup sighed. "I know there's nothing dangerous around here, so you don't have to be afraid, little pony. But maybe you should tell us more about twilight and how it got you here."

"Twilight Sparkle isn't an 'it,' she's a 'she'," Derpy said indignantly. "She's my friend. She reads books and does great tricks."

"Is Twilight another pony like you?" Astrid asked.

"Well, yeah!" replied Derpy. "Everybody knows that!"

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere," Hiccup said. "We've got a faraway land, we've got a bunch of talking, flying ponies, and we probably have some kind of magic at work. Sure, why not?" He rolled his eyes. "Do all ponies have strong powers, like you and this Twilight?"

"Only the unicorns have powers," Derpy answered. "The land ponies and the ones like me, the pe-ga-sus-es... pe-ga-sus-es... I always have trouble saying that."

"If it's from the Latin, then the plural might be 'pegasi'," Fishlegs suggested.

"We don't have powers," the pony went on.

"You seemed pretty powerful a minute ago," Astrid said. "You and that thundercloud were a one-pony wrecking crew."

"I just like to bounce on clouds," Derpy replied. "We pe-ga-sus-es... pe-ga-sus-es... we can do that. It's fun."

"Maybe you could take a break from bouncing on clouds for a while?" Hiccup asked. "We'd like to help you get home, but we'd also like it if you didn't burn down the town around us."

The pony hung her head. "Did I do something bad?"

"No, no, you just... maybe you need something to eat? Ponies eat grass, right?"

"If we have to," Derpy replied. "What I _really_ like is muffins."

"I... don't think our baker has made any muffins lately," Hiccup said slowly. "But we've got plenty of grass. If you fly out of here and look to your left, you'll see the sheep pastures. I think that would be a nice, safe place for you."

"Okay!" Derpy exclaimed. "I love little lambs!" She flew out of the ring, changed direction by bouncing off a rocky promontory, and glided down to the lower pastures.

"I think we need to keep an eye on that one," Astrid began. "She's dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Hiccup scoffed. "I don't think she even realizes what she's done. She's obviously a child!"

"She's a dangerous child, then," Astrid went on. "Remember that lightning storm we had, back when we had metal all over the village? Remember how bad that was? Now imagine what would happen if that 'child,' and five or six more just like her, all started jumping on clouds at once. They could burn this town to ashes in a day! This pony looks innocent, but she might be Alvin's latest scheme to attack Berk."

"Alvin's –" Hiccup broke up laughing. "Oh, please! Can you imagine _Alvin_ trying to work with someone as small and innocent as _her?_ He'd terrorize her! He'd get nowhere."

"Okay, then what if these ponies are trying to invade Berk themselves?" she went on. "They control lightning, they have magic... what could we do against them?"

"We have our dragons," Hiccup said. "Don't we, bud?" Toothless growled in agreement, and Stormfly also let out a dragony noise.

"That's another thing that was weird," Fishlegs cut in. "That little pony was surrounded by our big, scary dragons, and she wasn't afraid of them, even a little."

"That _is_ strange," Hiccup agreed. "I think we need to talk to this Derpy some more, and find out more about her and where she's from. But let's stop assuming the worst about her, okay?"

"Hiccup," Astrid growled, "do you remember the last time a cute female appeared out of nowhere in Berk? You're acting the same way you acted towards Heather – you're making excuses for her and ignoring the potential for trouble. I seem to recall warning you last time, and being right, and getting ignored, and _not liking it_."

Hiccup hung his head. "Point taken. You're right. If you want to keep an eye on Derpy, go right ahead, and if you see anything suspicious, I want to know about it."

"Now you're talking sense." She picked up her axe and headed for the exit.

"Astrid, wait a second! There's something else I remember from the past," Hiccup exclaimed as he ran to block her way. "Remember the baby Typhoomerang, and how angry its mother was when she found us? I don't want a repeat of _that_ situation, either. This pony might have parents who jump on clouds too, or her friend with the magic might show up. If they come looking for her, we _don't_ want them to find us terrorizing the little one. Like you said, they could be powerful enemies.

"Try not to antagonize her, Astrid. Leave the axe here. Try to be subtle."

"Subtle?" Astrid smirked. "I'm a Viking! I don't know what that word means."

"Then fake it," Hiccup said. "Until we have a better idea of what's going on, let's keep our eyes open, but no declaration of war, not yet. Astrid, I know where you'll be. Fishlegs, talk to Gothi and see if she's ever heard of talking ponies, or Equestria, or anything that might help us figure this thing out. Lout, take Hookfang and make sure the twins haven't electrocuted themselves."

"What will you be doing, Hiccup?" she asked.

"Oh, I've got the fun job. I get to explain to my dad about those lightning strikes, and why we can't punish the one who's responsible."


	2. Chapter 2

**How to Train Your Pony** Chapter 2

"Derpy? I thought you were going down to the sheep pastures." Hiccup sensed the potential for a very long day.

"You said to go there and eat some grass. I did. Now I'm ready to help with all these pretty decorations you're putting up."

"Uhh, okay," he said. "I'll just see what everypony – I mean everybody is doing, and then I'll know how you can help." _Just wonderful,_ he thought. _She's got the power of a thunder god, controlled by the mind of a four-year-old, and somebody appointed __me__ to be the babysitter_.

The other teens were erecting six tall poles, each topped with the colorful sheet-metal symbol of one of the six dragon classes that Bork the Bold had devised. Four were up and held in place with four ropes each, they were raising the fifth, and the sixth was lying on the ground, waiting its turn.

"What are all these decorations for?" the pony asked.

"We're celebrating Bork Week," Hiccup answered. "Bork was the Viking who wrote down everything about dragons, so we could understand them better. Those poles show the six different kinds of dragons."

"I like the yellow one," she decided, pointing at the Stoker Class symbol that had just been raised. "But that rope is too loose." Before Hiccup could say anything, she had taken the rope in her teeth and given it a good pull.

Hiccup really didn't think she could pull that hard. But with four hooves, she had more traction than he realized. The knot at the top of the pole slipped and came undone, and the pole toppled over. As it fell, the metal Stoker Class symbol hit a rope of the adjacent pole and sliced through it. That pole came down in turn. In moments, all five poles were flat on the ground, and all five teens on the pole detail were furious.

"Derpy, let's take a walk, you and me," Hiccup said hastily. He led the gray pony away from the scene of destruction. He was no stranger to calamity; he'd caused plenty of calamities in his own day. What really staggered him was that the poles had not been raised in a straight line – they followed a footpath in the shape of an S-curve. What were the chances of _all_ those poles falling at just the perfect angles?

"I was trying to tighten the rope," Derpy said. "I just don't know what went wrong."

_Where in Berk can I take this tiny terror so she can't destroy anything?_ he wondered. "I know!" he exclaimed. "Would you like to go flying?"

"Oh, yes, I love flying!" she said. "But you don't have any wings."

"That's okay. I have a dragon, remember?" he smiled. "Toothless loves to fly, too."

She watched with fascination as he rigged Toothless with his saddle and tail gear. For a moment, he considered taking it all off and putting it on again, just to stretch out the time that Derpy spent motionless and out of trouble, but Toothless was getting restless and it wouldn't be fair to him.

They started with some simple back-and-forth zooming. Hiccup wanted to see how well this pony could fly before he tried getting too fancy. He also needed a minute to get used to the idea of a flying pony.

"Okay, now let's try a loop!" he called.

"Loop-the-loops are fun!" she called back. Dragon and pony curved upward at the same time, but the much smaller pony traced a much tighter loop in the sky. She finished two loops and was almost done with a third by the time Toothless finished his first loop.

"That's really good!" Hiccup said. "Now we'll go really low!" He guided Toothless into a dive until they were just a few feet above the water. The crests of the taller waves tickled his dragon's belly as they skimmed the surface.

"That looks fun!" Derpy exclaimed. She dove and skimmed the waves like the dragon did. But one wave was a little higher than the others, and she hit it face-first. Just like that, her flying turned to swimming, and she was no swimmer.

"Help! Help me, Hiccup!" she cried, splashing frantically. Toothless turned on a wingtip and raced back to her. His forelegs plucked her out of the water and carried her up to safety in the air.

"Are you okay?" Hiccup asked worriedly.

"I didn't like that," she sniffed. "I'm not a sea horse." Toothless released her once they were sure she was all right. She shook herself dry in mid-air and resumed flying.

"Okay, what kinds of tricks do _you_ know?" Hiccup asked her.

"I can do this!" she exclaimed. She spun around and began flying backwards.

"Hey, that's pretty good!" he called. "But you might want to watch where you're... Derpy, you need to turn around... _watch out!_"

He was too late. She flew backward right into a row of fish-drying racks that had just been filled. Her wings got tangled in the lines, so she couldn't control her flight. She just kept going until she'd taken down all ten racks, one after the other.

She lay in a tangled pile of poles, lines, and fish... right at Stoick's feet. He turned a spectacular shade of red.

"_HICCUP!_" There was no mistaking his father's I-have-had-enough bellow for anything else. Hiccup had never heard that bellow applied to anyone but himself before. That didn't augur well for Derpy. He landed and dismounted to face his father.

"Hiccup, I have tried to be patient with your little friend, but there isn't much town left for her to destroy! Now get that weapon of mass destruction out of my village!"

"Dad, she's –"

"_Now,_ son!"

"Yes, Dad."

He turned to Derpy, who was still untangling

"I'm sorry, Derpy. My dad says you need to go back to the sheep pasture and eat some more grass."

"He doesn't want me to be around?" The little pony sounded heartbroken.

"He isn't used to the way you do things," was the best thing Hiccup could think of to say. "I'd like you to stay, but he's the chief and we have to do what he says."

She turned toward the pastures, then looked back at him through tear-filled eyes. "Derp," she sobbed. She somehow packed more sadness into that one syllable than Hiccup could have expressed in ten minutes. Of all the things she was breaking around here, the thing she was breaking the most was his heart.

He found Astrid, who was back on decoration duty. "Astrid, I need you to make sure Derpy stays in the pasture this time. It's important. My dad is reaching the end of his fuse."

"I'm on it," she nodded. "But I think there's one thing I ought to take care of first." She ran toward the center of the village. Hiccup had no idea what she was up to. No doubt he'd find out soon enough, as long as some combination of Derpy and his father didn't destroy him first.


	3. Chapter 3

**How to Train Your Pony** Chapter 3

Astrid found Derpy in the pastures, surrounded by sheep. She was singing them a peaceful song about fluffy clouds to the horizon, and wrapping them in rainbows. Her singing voice was quite pretty. The lambs, and many of the adult sheep, were lying down and falling asleep around her.

"That was very nice," Astrid said when the song was done.

The pony hadn't heard anyone approaching; Astrid's voice startled her. She jumped back, tripping over a lamb and then landing on a sleeping ewe. Both of them woke up, running and baa'ing in panic; that woke the others, and the entire flock stampeded away to the far side of the pasture.

"Uhh... sorry," Derpy called to them.

"Derpy, would you mind if I asked you some questions?" Astrid began.

"I guess not," the pony said. "Are they hard questions?"

"No, I just want to know more about you and where you're from," Astrid replied. "Are there dragons there?"

"Yes," Derpy replied. "But they aren't like the dragons here. Spike is nice, but some of the other ones aren't nice."

"Okay. Do you ponies ever... try to take over someone else's land, or take their stuff away?"

"Oh, no!" Derpy sounded appalled. "That would be mean, and we already have all the stuff we need."

"Does anyone ever try to do that to you?" was Astrid's next question.

"Sometimes," the pony said.

"What happens when they do that? How do you fight back?"

"Sometimes we use magic. Sometimes we trick them. Sometimes we just talk to them."

"You don't ever shoot lightning at them?" Astrid wondered.

"Oh, no! Shooting lightning would be bad! It might hurt somebody."

"Okay," Astrid nodded. "Tell me more about your friends."

"Well, there's Twilight Sparkle; she's real smart and reads books all the time, and she's a princess now. There's Rainbow Dash; she has a pretty tail and she flies _real fast!_ There's Rarity; she makes pretty clothes, and sometimes she uses big words I don't understand, but she's nice. There's Pinkie Pie; she's pink and she's funny, and she bakes muffins for me sometimes. There's Applejack; she's fun because she isn't fancy, and she calls me 'sugarcube.' And there's Fluttershy; she likes bunnies and things. Oh, yes, and there's Doctor Whooves, but I only see him some of the timey-wimey. There are lots of others, but those are the ponies I see the most."

Astrid couldn't help but notice that Derpy liked talking about her friends more than everything else put together. "Thank you, Derpy. That's all the questions I have for now." She turned and walked back toward the village.

She suddenly realized that the pony was following her. "Did you want something, Derpy?"

"No. Your friend said I should eat grass in the pasture, and I'm all done eating, so I'm coming back with you."

"Uhh, Derpy, I think it would be best if you stayed in the pasture."

The gray pony's face fell. "You don't want me to come back with you?"

"I just think it would be good if you stayed out here, so you don't break or burn anything else until we figure out what to do with you."

Derpy's eyes watered up, and she turned away. "I understand," she sobbed. "You don't want me around, either." She slowly walked back to the pasture.

"Derpy, please! It's nothing personal!" Astrid was way out of her league when dealing with tearful, moody females. When the pony didn't look back at her, she shook her head and returned to the Academy. She told Hiccup what had happened.

"Do you still think she's an advance scout for an invasion, Astrid?"

"No, you were right – she's a child, or very childlike. I think I hurt her feelings without meaning to."

He shook his head. "None of us know how to deal with talking ponies. I know you did your best. We'll just have to –"

He was interrupted by a brilliant, multicolored flash of light. When he could see again, he found himself confronted by a group of six ponies of varying colors and appearances. The two groups stared at each other; it was hard to tell which was more astonished.

"They walk on _two legs!_" the tan pony with the hat whispered.

"And they have no _fur,_ except on top!" added the pink one.

"Just because they _look_ different, that doesn't mean they're _bad,_" the yellow one whispered. "They might even be nice. Talk to them, Twilight."

The lavender pony with the colorful mane and tail stepped up to Hiccup. "Hi. I'm Twilight. Where is she?"

"Uhhh... I'm not sure I..." Hiccup was still trying to wrap his head around the idea of six talking ponies.

"We came to bring her back home safely, and that's what we're going to do! Don't cross us, or you'll get something like _this!_" Her horn glowed brilliantly for a moment. Then... nothing happened. "Huh. Where did the power go?"

Suddenly, in the distance, they heard Gobber run screaming out of the forge. Whatever implement he'd been using on his left arm, it had suddenly turned into a very unhappy muskrat.

"Oh, that's where it went," the lavender pony went on. "Sometimes that happens to me in strange places. Now, where is she?"

Hiccup wasn't sure how to take this. He certainly didn't want to antagonize them, whoever they were, but he wasn't used to being threatened by ponies. "Have we met?" he asked.

The white one spoke. "I apologize. Our manners are faulty; you'll forgive us when you understand the nature of our errand. That is Twilight Sparkle, this is Applejack, this is Fluttershy, this is Pinkie Pie, this is Rainbow Dash, and I am Rarity." Her eyes hardened. "Now, like my friend said – where _is_ she?"

Snotlout leaned over to murmur in Tuffnut's ear. "With names like those, they'll _attract_ trolls instead of scaring them away! Maybe we should keep our distance, just to be safe?" Tuff snorted in agreement.

"Pleased to meet you," Hiccup replied. "I'm Hiccup, and –"

"You're excused," Rarity said.

"No, that's my name. My name is Hiccup. This is Toothless." The dragon let out a toothy growl, which made all the ponies back off a step. He introduced the other teens and their dragons. The dragons all followed Toothless' lead and snarled at the ponies as they were introduced. Rainbow Dash snarled back at them.

"Now that we've met, can we all dial down the hostility a little?" Hiccup asked. "I'm sure you're worried about your friend, but coming in here like a bunch of berserkers is never the best way to ask people for help. Me, I apologize for the dragons; I don't have much control over them. I assume you're looking for Derpy Hooves?"

"She's here? Thank goodness!" Twilight exclaimed. "I hoped I might find her here. I found a spell in an old book that should have helped her do things without all the accidents. But when I tried to say the part about 'go safely to work,' my tongue slipped and I said 'go safely to Berk' instead. I need to bring her home, and we have to move quickly before anyone notices we're all missing.

"We aren't just worried about _her,_" Pinkie added. "We're scared she might hurt somebody!"

"She isn't just a pony," Rainbow nodded. "She's more like a force of nature that's out of control. You don't know what you're dealing with."

"Actually, we've seen her in action," Hiccup grinned, gesturing at the house with the scorched roof, the fallen poles, and the downed fish racks.

"Oh, no! I hope she didn't hurt anyone!" Fluttershy exclaimed.

"I don't think so," Hiccup said, "but I can understand why you're worried about her. If you'll just follow me, I'll take you to her. She's still in the pastures, right, Astrid?"

"That's where I left her," Astrid nodded. Hiccup led the six colorful ponies out of the ring and down to the lower pastures. More than one Viking stopped and stared at the remarkable procession as they went by.

"Here we are, at the pastures," Hiccup said, "and, just as I promised..." He looked all around.

"...she's gone."


	4. Chapter 4

**How to Train Your Pony** Chapter 4

"Okay, nobody panic," Hiccup began.

"Nobody panic," Pinkie Pie echoed. "That's very good advice, except we're dealing with Derpy here, and she could be anywhere, and she could be doing anything, _and she could be on the verge of destroying everything,_ AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I'M ABOUT READY TO PANIC!"

"Okay," nodded Hiccup. "You panic. The rest of us need to spread out. We and our dragons will search the town, because we know it well. You ponies should search the woods in the north half of the island, because you can fly between trees better than our dragons can. We'll meet back here in two hours."

"Whoa, Mr. Hiccough," Twilight said. "We need to know a few things before we start searching. Like, for instance, why did she run away?"

"I don't know for sure," he answered, "but I think a few of my friends said the wrong thing and hurt her feelings."

"Right after she broke something, right?" Rainbow asked. He nodded. "It figures."

"Was anybody trying to be nice to her?" Applejack wanted to know.

"I was doing my best, but I had a lot of other things to do besides keeping an eye on her," Hiccup said. "Everybody liked her; we just don't deal well with force-five hurricanes on four legs."

"She does take some getting used to," nodded Rarity.

"She said something about people wanting to change her name," Hiccup said. "What's with that?"

"Oh, _that,_" Twilight said dismissively. "Some folks just aren't happy unless they're making trouble for somepony. I guess something about Derpy reminded them of something else, so rather than just deal with it, they decided Derpy had to change her name and fix her eyes. She's taking it kind of hard, and I really don't blame her."

"I don't blame her, either," Hiccup nodded. "Your name is kind of a personal thing. And I can tell she never _tries_ to bother anyone or make trouble. It just happens."

"You've got _that_ right!" all the ponies said at once, then giggled at each other.

"She's not bad!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "She's just... derpy!" Everyone nodded.

"Okay, let's get organized," Twilight said. "Hiccough, you and your friends ought to search the town, because you know it better. We'll search the north part of your island. Shall we meet back here in two hours?"

"That sounds like a good plan," Hiccup nodded, rolling his eyes. "I'll get my friends moving." He returned to the village.

"Hiccup, if these interruptions keep happening, we're _never_ going to get these decorations up in time!" Astrid said. "The town is counting on us!"

"I think a missing person is more important than some decorations, don't you?" Hiccup countered.

"Technically, it's a missing pony," Fishlegs chimed in.

"Maybe, if we let her _stay_ missing for another hour or two, we _might_ be able to finish our job," Ruffnut added.

"If you had a missing child, would you let her stay missing for two hours just to decorate the town?" Hiccup demanded.

"If I had a child, she would be smart enough to not go missing," Snotlout decided, "and she wouldn't destroy everything she touched, and she _definitely_ would _not_ look like a horse!"

"That might depend on what your wife looked like," Astrid smirked.

"Look in the mirror and you'll see the answer to _that_ question," he shot back with what he thought was a winning smile. She wiped that smile off with a right cross and a left uppercut that dumped him on his backside.

"Fine," Hiccup said. "You do what's important to you. I'll go search for Derpy." He'd left Toothless' riding gear on, so it took no time for him to get into the air.

"Now, if I was a lost, sad little pony who wanted to be alone, where would I hide?" he said out loud. "Any ideas, Toothless?" The dragon didn't answer, but just kept climbing.

"If we get much higher, we'll never see her on the ground," he told his dragon. Still they went upward.

Hiccup smacked himself in the forehead. "Of course! She'd hide on top of a cloud! Good thinking, bud!" Toothless gave him a grunt that probably meant, _It's about time you figured it out,_ as they entered the cloud layer.

They burst out into the sunlight a few seconds later. "She probably didn't go far, aside from the 'up' part," Hiccup suggested. "We'll fly a spiral search pattern. Spiral out, Toothless!" The Night Fury nodded and began searching.

After about ten minutes, he heard something. It was Derpy, singing to herself. They followed her voice and found her easily. She was sitting on a cloud with her head hanging down and tears in her eyes, singing a sad song about waiting to be needed, waiting alone, right here.

It was at that instant that Hiccup realized why he felt so kindly toward the little pony, and why he found it so easy to overlook her disastrous tendencies.

He realized he was looking at her, and seeing himself.

Sure, the gender and the species were wrong, but under the skin, she was just like him.

He whispered a plan to Toothless. "I know it'll be a hard maneuver, but if anybody can pull this off, you can, bud." Toothless took that as a challenge, which is what Hiccup wanted.

They dipped back into the cloud layer, flew through the murk until they thought they were right underneath the pony, then rose almost vertically. Derpy suddenly found herself sitting right behind Hiccup on Toothless' back. She neighed in panic and started to jump off.

Hiccup reached back quickly and rested a hand on her flank. "Derpy, please stay! I'm sorry we scared you, but there's something I have to tell you, and I can't say it up here. We can't sit on clouds like you can, and if we keep going in circles around you, one of us will get dizzy. Will you please ride with us to a special place, where we can talk?"

"All right," she said in a quavering voice. "What kind of special place is it?"

"It's the place where I met my best friend, and where I got to know my other best friend," Hiccup said. "Almost no one knows about it. It's a peaceful, happy place that I'd like to share with you."

"Okay," she said.

"Thank you for trusting me," he replied as Toothless banked and descended through the clouds.

When they landed in the cove and dismounted, Hiccup didn't say anything for a minute. Derpy was staring all around her.

"This is so pretty!" she finally exclaimed. "It's all green and quiet and nice. I like it here."

"I knew you'd like it here," Hiccup smiled as she took a drink from the pool.

"How did you know?" she asked, surprised.

He got down on his knees in front of her so he could look her in the eye. "I knew you'd like it because I'm just like you, Derpy."

"But... you're not like me!" she protested. "You do everything right, and all your friends like you!" She looked away. "I'm not like that."

He put a finger under her chin and gently turned her face back to him. "I wasn't always like this, Derpy. It used to be that, anything I touched, I broke. Anything I tried, went wrong. Every time I stepped outside, disaster fell. People called me Hiccup the Useless, and they didn't care if I heard them say it."

"Really?" she asked, wide-eyed.

"Really," he nodded. "You can ask Astrid if you want to. I know just how you feel."

"Then... what happened?" she wondered. "What changed?"

"I found a real friend." He gestured at Toothless, who was watching them curiously.

"Toothless loves me just for who I am, no matter how badly I mess up. With him, I don't have to try too hard; I don't have to impress him. I can just be me, and he really likes me that way. That was the start of how I changed for the better. I still make mistakes and break things sometimes, but he doesn't care. Because of him, I know I'm special."

"I wish I could be that special," Derpy said. "I wish my friends would need me so I'd know they really like me."

"Let me tell you something important, Derpy. If the only thing that your friends like is the things you can do for them, that doesn't make you _special_. It just makes you _useful_. When that happens, it makes you feel good for a while. But what happens if someone else comes along and does things better than you can? All your friends will like that other person better, and you won't have friends any more.

"But if people love you just for who you are, _that_ makes you special. No one can ever take that away from you, no matter how good they are at doing things. That's what really matters, not how fast you can fly, or how clever you are, or how good you are at baking.

"You've been trying _so_ hard to be useful. Maybe what your friends need the most from you _isn't_ the help you can give them. Maybe, just _maybe,_ the best thing you can do for your friends is to just be their friend?"

"Really?" Her eyes were shining, and not from sad tears this time.

"Really. Your friends came here looking for you – did you know that? They weren't looking for you because they needed you to do something for them. They just missed you and wanted to bring you home where you'll be safe. They already think you're special."

"Really?" she asked again.

"Really," he repeated. "Because you _are_ special." Just on a whim, he leaned forward and kissed her on the nose. To his astonishment, she flew straight up in the air for a foot and hovered there, whinnying with delight while her four hooves did a little dance in mid-air.

_Speaking of being useful,_ he thought, _I think __I__ just did something right._


	5. Chapter 5

**How to Train Your Pony** Chapter 5

"Hiccup, do you like me too?" Derpy asked, half in delight and half in disbelief.

"Of course I like you! Like I said, you're a lot like me, and you're a wonder per- I mean a wonderful pony. You're the only one of you there is, and you're amazing."

"Even though I break things?"

"Well, maybe you can work on that." he grinned. "But don't make it your life's work. Just work on being a real friend. The other stuff will work itself out in time."

"Thank you, Hiccup! I haven't been so happy since..."

"I bet it's been a while. We probably ought to get you back to your friends. They're worried about you. Now that I think about it, they're looking all over the island for you – it might be hard to get them all back together for a while."

"They're all back in town." They both jumped at Astrid's voice. "I took Stormfly for a ride, saw you two down here, and rounded up the ponies. They're waiting for you when you're ready."

"Astrid! We didn't hear you coming. How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to see you kissing another girl," she grinned.

"Don't blame me," Hiccup grinned back. "She's got my brain under siege." Astrid was about to hit him in the arm when he held up his hand. "Uh-uh-uh, not in front of the pony!"

A black dragon, a blue dragon, and a gray pony flew easily back to Berk. As soon as they landed, Derpy was mobbed by the others.

"We were so scared – we didn't know where you'd gone!"  
"Thank goodness we finally found you!"  
"It's good to see you're okay, sugarcube!"  
"Please don't disappear like that again!"  
"We're _so_ happy to see you again!"  
"I'm sorry I put you through this! Will you forgive me?"

Twilight turned to Hiccup. "Thank you, Hiccup, for helping find her. I hope she didn't, uhh..." She glanced back at the damage.

"We've seen worse. After all, we live with dragons," Hiccup said. "I'm just glad the story will have a happy ending. Do you think you'll ever come back here?"

"Probably not," she answered. "This place is too strange for us. We need to get back to the land of talking ponies."

"Does that mean I'll never see you again, Hiccup?" Derpy's eyes were watering up again.

He got down on his knees again. "Friends are forever," he said. "We might not meet again, but we can always remember each other and smile. And even if they make you change your name, I'll always think of you as Derpy."

To his surprise, she threw her forelegs around his neck and hugged him.

"I love you, Hiccup," she whispered.

"I love you too, Derpy," he whispered back.

"We do need to get going," Twilight said quietly. "It's getting late."

As she spoke, Astrid came running up from the village center with a bag full of something. "Don't go yet! Please, take these for your journey. They'll be one last thing to remember us by."

Derpy sniffed the bag. "_Muffins?_"

"Oatmeal raisin muffins," Astrid nodded. "I asked our baker to make a special batch. There's one for each of you, with a few extras. They're still warm from the oven."

"Oh, thank you, Astrid!" Derpy exclaimed. "_You're_ nice, too! I'm really going to miss this place, but it will be good to go home." The other six nodded in agreement.

Hiccup and Astrid smiled as the seven ponies stepped away and formed a circle. They all waved at the humans.

"Goodbye!"  
"Bye-bye!"  
"Farewell!"  
"Adios, amigos!"  
"Goodbye!"  
"Goodbye, and thank you!"  
"Derp!"

Then Twilight Sparkle's horn glowed, there was a bright flash of light, and they were gone.

"Don't ever change, Derpy," Hiccup whispered. "Just grow."

"Is it okay for me to hit you now?" Astrid asked.

"Well, since you asked, I don't think it's _ever_ – OW!" She hit him anyway.

"_That's_ for kissing the mysterious girl who fell out of the sky!" she scolded.

"Astrid, mysterious girls don't fall out of the sky, except in bad fanfics! You're not getting _jealous_ over a _pony,_ are you?"

"I get jealous of _anybody_ who takes your eyes off of _me_." She leaned over and kissed him on the lips – quickly, but still enough to give him goose bumps. "_That's_ for being very patient and kind when it wasn't easy."

"Actually, it was easier than you think, especially when you're dealing with yourself."

"Huh?" she wondered.

"I'll explain it later," he grinned. "Right now, I'm having this bizarre craving for oatmeal raisin muffins."

_THE END_


End file.
